Blog Post by PTAC Member Denise Williams
Welcome back! I’m excited about the possibilities this year has in store. However, my optimism has required mindfulness and hard work.
Teaching isn’t always rainbows and puppy dogs. Education can be a minefield with long hours, difficult parents, needy students, demanding bosses, and competitive coworkers. It’s easy to focus on the negative. Teaching is also incredibly fulfilling. Recently, I found myself anxious and focusing on the negative. My anxiety was so high that my physical health was adversely affected. I also found it extremely difficult to focus and to be creative. I wasn’t being the best teacher I could be.
This had to stop. I owed it to my students, my family, and myself. Therefore, I sought out a therapist. This was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I learned to embrace uncertainty and to focus on the positive.
One of the many resources that helped me is a book entitled, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is as my therapist put it, “A little woo, woo.” It is very spiritual, but the wisdom behind the four agreements is life changing.
The Four Agreements is a practical guide to personal freedom by revealing the source of self-limiting behavior that steals joy and creates suffering. The Four Agreements are a code of conduct that transforms fear into freedom.
The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. We tell our students to tell the truth, and we need to as well. As Ruiz puts it, “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” If a child is told they are stupid, and their mind is fertile for this belief, then the child will formulate this agreement. This agreement will remain until someone captures the child’s attention and convinces them that they are in fact intelligent. The child can then form a new agreement, and as Ruiz puts it, “The whole spell is broken.” This year let’s do this for our students, our colleagues, and ourselves.
The second agreement is to not take anything personally. As teachers we put so much of ourselves into instruction and our classrooms, so this is a tough one. Ruiz makes the point that what others do is not because of you, but because of themselves. It is their reality. Become immune to the opinions and actions of others, and you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. This is especially true when people are trying to send poison your way. If you accept it, their emotional garbage now becomes yours. Our students can also benefit from this agreement, especially when peers are being ugly toward them.
The third agreement is to not make assumptions. Ruiz writes, “Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.” I said in a recent podcast that I would be the worst reporter. I nod to be polite then stew in my own misunderstanding. I have vowed not to make assumptions and ask more questions. I started with my family this past Christmas. My initial interpretations were often incorrect. Asking questions, and learning the truth strengthened my relationships and limited misunderstandings. As educators we can model this with our students and colleagues. Think of yourself as a reporter or detective and have the courage to ask questions. Despite what Jack Nicholson’s character says in a Few Good Men, you can handle the truth.
The fourth and final agreement is to always do your best. Keep in mind that your best is fluid. Your best will be better when you are well-rested and focused as opposed to when you are exhausted and distracted. Basically, don’t under-do it ,and here is the tough one for teachers, don’t over do it. Both take away from your best. Ruiz states, “That simply doing your best under any circumstance, you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.” Be a wonderful role model and share this wisdom with underachieving and perfectionistic students and staff. Always do your best with the four agreements. You may not be impeccable with your word one day. Pick yourself up and start over the next. The same is true for the remaining agreements. By the way, always doing your best fits perfectly with promoting a growth mindset and grit. You got this!
Be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do you best. Make these four agreements with yourself and encourage your students to do the same. Fear and anxiety will be transformed into freedom and happiness. I wish you the best on your mindful journey. Take care and have a wonderful school year.